I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
