What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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