I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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