She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
