the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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