Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
