Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I could fuck to npr.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
