Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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