Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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