Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
sex in a hospital.. check
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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