hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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