Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
