He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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