I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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