my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
