Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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