So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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