would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I need to stop coming to work sober
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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