he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
