We need to start having sex underwater more often.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
