I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
