I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
