I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
