She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
