VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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