please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
So. Much. Porn.
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