I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
