she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
