His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
