If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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