Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
