I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
