It's Friday. Sex?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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