I wish I only lived at night.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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