Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
