Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
