weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need to calm my uterus...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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