So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Randomize
