I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
