if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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