I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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