i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
