My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
