Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
