Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize