Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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