never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
