Moan for me like Helen Keller
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize