i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
