I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
