Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you had me at cake vodka
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
