my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
