I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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