The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
