There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
