I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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