I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
