it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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